I never thought it would end like this, so silently. I fell hard last night after speaking with her. I forgot for a moment that I wasn't strong. I let that be my breaking point. And now here I am.

I've done two things today: sleep and miraculously I went to school. I slept through the weird dreams, the ones that always make no sense. I'm trying to sleep through now. It's hard not to miss your friends when they're thousands of miles away. Alas, they are all back at school. We didn't spend night and day together, but I see how much harder things are with them away. At some point I'll go visit Brandon and Spud. They won't break my heart.

I am being held captive by my own thoughts. I could say something. But where would it get us? Nowhere. It has gotten us nowhere in the past, and I'm tired of trying only to fail.