I saw everything I wanted to see yesterday. Peace ran over me in the purest of all forms. I felt at ease with myself the entire day. I didn't scream, I didn't cry, I didn't even frown. Smiles were the only thing I was capable of. And I liked it. I know where to seek smiles...in random pockets across the country. You are always here with me in heart, in spirit. Never forgotten, I love you.

Libby: You are my best goddamned friend in the whole widest world. No time matches the time we spend together (poking fun, dancing, playing dress-up, baking, eating string cheese, etc.). We are 5 year olds trapped in teenaged bodies. I laugh the loudest when I'm with you, and it always feels so good. The dye is making me itch now, but oh well.

Sam: Now that you're home for a minute (working at your oh-so-important job in the city) we have no excuse to miss out on the countless hours of coffee and driving, just to be. Keep yourself well though, huh?

Brandon: Crazy Foxy Woxy, will you ever stop with the nutso acts you're so well known for? We fought like children fight over, well whatever they fight over. This lasted for two years in middle school, and I can't imagine being without you now. You're still the best, even when I want to smack you. Don't succomb to the Eastern ways of idiocy.

Spudlington: Thanks for fueling hours of laughs. I wish the space between us didn't keep melting into a even larger cavern at the end of last year. But I'm happy that we get to see each other on breaks. Keep up with the great dancing (I feel like I'm writing yearbook messages). No dreads, no fro, just stay frickin adorable.

I smell herbilla. John left this morning for AZ. I hopes he has a good time...no, I take that back. I hope he has a great time. He deserves it more than anyone. *I miss you.*

I'm down to my last day of "Spring Break". I just have to keep thinking that there's less than two months left of school. I've semi-planned out my summer. It doesn't make much sense right now, but it will eventually. I have no feelings tied down right now, no irrational thoughts that I will think myself stupid for later. I should sleep, with two larger events lined up for tomorrow. Kristen is a gimpified butterfly, so stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it.





10:23 P.M.
I'm afraid to write tonight. Are things happening the right way? I could be a complete waste for waiting so long to ask that question. I can't do anything about it right now. My heart just won't let me. She's not like you. She hates you, wishing you would never step foot in her house. Take the business elsewhere, she says. But not here. Do not come here because I don't welcome you. I quit complaining a day or two ago. There's no point. I'm fighting for nothing. My inquisitions mean nothing, as they go nowhere, affecting only myself. I run around in my own contagious circle until I am dizzy and fall down. It is my own fault for knowing what I know. I bring it upon myself.

Rhubarb still makes me cry, and it still makes me feel. Nothing that is said or done will ever change that. Nothing can erase love right now, make it seem less important or less apparent. I'm not sure that it won't fade away, but we've lasted through so much. We are stronger now, I feel it in your touch. Strength can snap like brittle bones. What makes me snap? That.