tonight i remembered why i used to run away, sometimes at odd hours of the night. eventually lonliness took over me and virtually forced me to remember why, many times, i couldn't take it here. chicago is naturally a very hectic, high-strung place. by default, i feel like many people here are the same way, high-strung, on edge, panicky, etc. i'm this way, due to school, work, and other obligations. i like myself best when i'm not here. however, even if i lived somewhere else, i would still be the same, having a job, going to school, things like that. but someday eventually, i don't think i'll spend the rest of my life here. i need somewhere a bit more quiet and secluded. i'm tired of running and being so unsatisfied with myself. i can't always be on vacation.

it's been raining here for a couple days, cloudy and cold with lots of wind. it doesn't make for happy people, and more importantly, a happy me. maybe if there were sun, things would look a little brighter (not only literally).

RHV=springtime. they treat me like a princess and a little sister. i feel special when i'm with them. their new record is catchy as all hell. everyone should check it out.

i put my underwear on inside out again today. sometimes i think things like this should come with an instruction manual, for spazzes like me.