He shuts me out and I shut down. It kills me to wonder what he thinks, what he feels, what he is, because I am never sure. When the light over land goes out, I'm still paddling fiercly to get to shore. And when all seems to be lost and forgotten, I am still the only one remembering, standing at the edge of the water, smiling and waving goodbye. While I sit here having the boredom of my life, my friends are enjoying each other's drunk company.

My body trembles before I see him sometimes. Damnit I'm still human. But I keep forgetting that it's all over...it's over. I want warmth. Maybe some blue stars?