I just want to die.
If only I knew how to not be such a coward about it.
If only I had a gun.
If only I had a fool proof way of offing me.
If only I had the guts to make my car carbon monoxide on wheels.
If only I had all my sadness mustered up into that one little corner of my body.
If only I could slit my throat and the entire joke that I call my life would be finished.
If only someone would love me and not leave me or at least had the fucking balls to stop me from doing this, would I actually stop.

Maybe this will make you remember me.