at one point i was a small child, intellectual and quick to learn, but still naive of all the world's imperfections. when i'd heard the word rape for the first time, i was never told exactly what it was, but only that it was something very, very bad. and the mother of one of my mother's friends had been raped, and from what i was told at such a small age, it looked as if she was going to die. days later she was gone, and i still didn't know what rape meant.

two years ago a man started hunting out asian-american women to assault and rape throughout the north chicago suburbs. i, being asian-american, was afraid that something may happen to me. by this time, i was old enough to learn and accept what rape is. i had to be careful walking down the street, looking for sketchy people around my neighborhood who were unfamiliar to the area.

and then the man was caught, in the philippines. turned himself in to the authorities. he greatly resembled the sketches police had released, and it was eerie to see him on the television and in newspapers, knowing what he'd most likely done to 9 women around the chicagoland area.

i still don't understand why my the mother of a friend of my mother's was attacked and violated in a flower shop that has long since been closed, on roscoe, east of western ave., so long ago. and i will never understand and never know.