Can I give you something to smile about?

All these abstract concepts I have yet to take in, I'll just smile for now and understand later.

Goodbye Kevin, goodbye Albert. Have fun in Amsterdam.

So many good hugs: feel good hugs, goodbye hugs, hugs for no reason at all, birthday hugs, and so, you're talking to me again, huh? hugs. I think Kevin broke my knuckle tonight, but that's okay. I got smothered and nearly choked, I was poked at so I would squeak, but I am not abused. Much love, always.

If only I could be beautiful like the daffodils that laughed at me the other morning or the summer rain that falls so cold upon my shoulders. Maybe one random day, I will feel what it's like to be leaves on the ground that dance without the wind underneath it. To be...just, to be beautiful. I think, maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I will breath it in, feel it all so harsh against my skin, let it run through my hair, through my skin, into my body. Could it be that everything inside me will cave in? Follow it down with a long stitch.