I want to ignore the aching in my heart that reminds me that I do indeed have feelings for something I cannot even come close to touching. It is these repeatitious patterns in life that bore me to no end, with monotonous tugging on my head, my heart, and my whole body. It is the crying, the kicking, and screaming I throw myself into, these fits of rage that are wearing me down to nothing.

I just feel like my heart is gone...and I'm not exactly sure where I've put it. I've spent days claiming that I'm fine, when really, I miss being taken care of. Again, I'm sick. I held my own damn hair back last night as I puked my brains up. I served myself 2 Ibuprofen ever 4-6 hours to calm the aching in my head/body. I made myself tea because no one else would.

For the love of fucking gawd, can someone just hold me for a while until I start to feel better? That would be nice.