He was right when he said that things were always going up. I spend these nights with these people, where I can be me.

Lunch with the girls, some weight lifting and some of Emiko playing Minesweeper (there's nothing more entertaining than that). Work work, with red pipe cleaners in the shape of a heart taped to my book, feeding the cats and some laughs at Emily's with Saingbey, and apple juice, cigarettes, sharing, and learning with Johnny, now home. I have many things, good things, that I should be happy about. For once in the past year things are going up, and it seems like they will continue to go up. Right now I want what's best for me with the least amount of negative affect on anyone else. I'm learning to take care of myself. It's always about learning. And now it's just about me.