I remember that unexpected falling where you know your heart just fell and shattered into ten thousand tiny pieces. I'm sorry it happened, and I feel every last bad thing that she felt too, because I've been there before. But the pain and the bitterness lessens in time, and there's always good people backing you up in your little corner.

On another note, I like parties once in a while, when I'm with my BBCC boys. They make sure I have a good time...care and protection. But I ran into a few people from the past...Ari, who I'd seen last week at the Rhymesayers show, Jeff, who I treated terribly in fifth grade on Valentine's Day, and many, many others. I'm beginning to love being the social butterfly.

Sadness is my short term companion tonight. Emiko leaves for school in two days. I've barely seen her all summer, and I only got to see her for barely a half hour tonight. And it makes me sad, because I love her to death and I miss hanging out with her, being silly little Asian girls, etc. And in two days, she will be out of state in St. Louis. And we still haven't hung out.

My hands and my clothes smell of sweetness, of the silence of night, of secrecy. My fingertips have traced lines on smooth, soft surfaces, into darkness and space.

P.S. - I can't say it enough, how much I adore my boys.