I tried to compile the random entries throughout December-January. I figured it would be meaningless, as well as an insult to the reasons why I wrote multiple entries (as separate pages) in one day. So I gave up, and here I sit. I haven't seen anything beautiful in a long time. I don't think I've been looking though. It could be the bad thoughts that I've let cloud my mind that keep me from seeing what's really in front of my face. I'm anticipating the warmer weather that's to come within the next few months. It was decent out tonight, a tit bit nipply, but ok. The sky was clear and the stars were prevalent in the navy blanket of night. I used to see beauty everywhere. Now I'm just searching.

He leaves on Saturday...how the feeling of longing will engulf me. Everytime I let him go, it hurts so much. He bought me Clarity tonight. Tears welled up in my eyes. Deep down I wanted it to come from him. It's sitting on my bedroom floor waiting to be played before bed.

Lights are flashing on and off on this desk. That bothers me, so I must go.