after kristine left this afternoon, i sat at my computer for a while listening to music that, by default, made me sad. so i started crying, much like i do many afternoons when i'm by myself, listening to music that is, by default, sad. there's so many things that i don't talk about, so many things that i don't say to so many people that eventually die out and disappear inside. they become so unimportant because i don't like talking, because i never feel comfortable with anyone except the one person that lives 870 miles away. and i hate the fact that he left, and i hate that most of the bad things that make my stomach want to curl up and die revolve around him. but there's good things, lots of fun and wonderful things that make me smile that i can't share with anyone because no one wants to hear that sappy, cheesy shit.