I am the forgotten child of your best dream. It's been a pretty chill day/night. Emily got a tattoo today, but I couldn't sit in the room with her and Sam to watch. It was too painful. I've walked more this weekend than I have since sophomore year, and I haven't bitched about it at all (oh so proud of myself). The level of superficiality here is high and mighty, as it seems to take most of the dyed-blond girls here forever to get ready. I guess I don't see much of a point in the ordeal to dress yourself up if you're just going to get plastered and not remember it/puke all over yourself anyways...Maybe I'm just a loser. I missed Sam, so it's been really good to see her. The three of us have had a really good time together, drinking or not.

I couldn't live here though. Granted I'm basing my position on a two day experience, but most of the people here are unreal. The fact that most of the girls here spend hours on end every weekend, getting themselves ready to go out amazes me. It seems like everyone has something to prove to someone else around here, hence the longing for not only a positive opinion from the self but for an opinion of someone else as well. Maybe I'm misinformed.

I get weird when I'm away for some reason. I don't know what gets into me, but I'll just get quiet or detatched from myself for a while, and I'm nearly responseless. I'm attached to home. I miss my house.

I'm feeling lonely right now, which Emily and Sam might take offense to right now. I'm detatched from myself, and I'm really lost. You're just not worth it. My mind and body are numb, and I'm so sober it's disgusting. My dream that never ends just ended on a sour note.