updated.
there's
more
to
life
than
this.
Other diaries:
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6*29*05 so far i've packed three whole boxes, with the fourth not far behind. i won't be in this room, at this time, this day next week. i've lived in this room for 19 years - i've known no other. i kept myself up until ungodly hours of the night/morning yesterday thinking ten thousand things that would take me about 5.6 million hours to tell you about. i'm getting out of here. maybe it will make things better between me and my parents; perhaps they will realize the person that i am, rather than the person that i'm not. maybe it will make me feel more accomplished to completely move out, on my own money, with my own effort, and to keep myself stable financially for the rest of my life. but just being gone, not being here gives me 20 million other things to worry about that are family related. i think more than you realize. i breathe more than you feel. i'm in every corner of every room watching and waiting patiently, but not so much. i'm taking my stuffed animals with me because they will keep me young. i'm taking all of my posters with me, most importantly the anime ones and the buzz lightyear one, because they will keep me young. some of the pictures that were on my wall here will not make it to the new place - they will be filed away in some random folder in some random space and only looked upon when i rediscover said folder. i will take my dressers, and possibly my bookcase and shelving units for my closet, because i've always had them. they've always been with me. i will live a mere 5 blocks from my parents house, in a place that was once my friend's basement, but was converted into the bottom floor of a 3-flat. i will have two bedrooms, my own kitchen, and my own bathroom. i will have my puppy and eventually my jacob. i shocked a good few people today by telling them i was moving out this weekend. they all probably think me insane, but that's okay. if i think about it too much, i can do a really stellar job of convincing myself out of anything. if i kept keeping myself up until ungodly hours of the night/morning, i'd probably never leave, because up until 6 hours ago, this was my home. ...but it's not anymore. |
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