There is no one around that I'd really like to talk to right now...er, at least no one I don't think will brush me off. I don't feel like being rejected tonight. There's tons I could possibly be doing right now other than feeling shitty about my stupid little life. But I'd rather sit here and feel shitty, so there.

Today I thought about my funeral, and I felt like dying just so I could see it. I wanted to see who would show up, who wouldn't, who would cry and who would be straight faced the entire time. I'm forgetting about love right now, and I'm wishing I wasn't hurting so much from gawd knows what. I'm falling into my yearly funk. This time I expected it, as it hit hard last year. I need to disconnect my feeding tube of sorrow and just get over everything.