i forget what it's like to rock myself to near sleep in the warm spring air, and i forget how dirty my feet get from walking around barefoot on warm pavement. and i lose sight of the sand stuck underneath my fingernails from spending too much time at the beach during nightfall. i forget why my bottom gets dirty from sitting on the ground and what it's like to see more stars than i can count (how many are in the sky tonight?). and sometimes it's hard to remember what skin feels like that is not my own, the way that it is smooth unlike mine. it's been so long since tears have been kissed away, since someone has pushed the hair away from my face just so they could see my eyes. and i can't remember the last time i woke up to see someone looking down at me, smiling me back to sleep.

no one cares enough. often times i find myself to be the first guilty person. when will you be here?