i haven't sobbed this much in a long time. it's scary feeling this way again. i'm certain that i'm happy, but there's just one small aspect that i'm confused with, and it makes me feel really helpless. my body goes back to feeling hollow, filled with nothing, and it doesn't help with the confusion and it doesn't help with all the questions only i can answer.

it wouldn't be so hard if he just lived here...

my heart is being torn across the states, and it's not very comfortable. these words of wisdom i so often offer to others is doing me no good tonight.