the smell of pearberry body creme, though sweet and fruity, makes me remember bad things about the time when i bought it for my mother two years ago...

...nights that went on too late, head left wondering where?, cold (so cold), and snow (lots of it), deception and lies were plentiful.

but i think of now, and i think about why thinking of him makes me so gosh darn happy that none of what happened matters anymore, because we're both different people now and we've both done a lot of growing up.

all the bracelets but four, from him, have broken. my heart, though, remains in tact.