1. ...and the party goes on without me.
2. i can't drink like everyone else can, however, normally i am okay with this.
3. but tonight, for some reason, while everyone's downstairs having a good time, being drunk with each other [in their own little incoherent world], i'm still slightly sober [but on painkillers for my back/joints].
4. i'll never be able to drink like everyone else can.
5. nor am i funny enough with what little druggage i am on.
6. so i'll make sure all the company stays drunk, and i'll clean up the messes and keep bottles/cups in their hands.
7. the weekend has been all right thus far.
8. sometimes i just get sad about nothing.
9. i'm not even sure why i'm writing this from a computer that isn't mine while my friends enjoy themselves in separate rooms, surely not noticing the fact that i'm gone.
10. surprise!
11. it's springtime.
12. [insert memorable flashbacks here.]
13. someday they'll think i'm beautiful too.